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How did it start?”“It started because I wouldn’t tell her my baptismal name, and expected her to call me Mr. Ransome, as most of the community do. My chief argument with her is that she then tried to make me look mean and foolish in public. She failed, of course, most spectacularly in the most blatant case, the famous episode of the five pence piece. Tell me, Mrs. Ransome, do you know how much I actually gave to the fund for the roof?”“No,” said Jennifer after a moment’s hesitation, still not quite believing that she was now Mrs. Ransome, “There are rumours of course, anything from a hundred thousand to a million pounds or more. The roof didn’t cost a million did it? Daddy said that it would have cost several tens of thousands just to patch it, let alone replace it, but he said it was probably just a few hundreds of thousands, nowhere near a million.”“In the immortal words of a bard of Stratford-upon-Avon, ‘You don’t need to worry your pretty little head about that’. I think that. This feeling was not helped in the least when one of the younger female members said (at my slightly early departure the third week) ‘Bye John, we can talk about you next!’ She was less than half-joking too. By the fourth weekend, I desperately needed an early night and made my excuses. My parents shared a Chinese Takeaway with me, and I was asleep in bed before 10pm. I woke early the next morning, and went out for a walk to the newspaper shop, only to find that I was there before it had even opened at 8.am. I extended my walk by 30 minutes so as to get a paper, which meant that by the time I got in again, mother had breakfast on the kitchen table, and was planning her day. My arrival encouraged her again to think of planning mine. ‘Why don’t you go for a swim?’ she asked. ‘The pool has been refurbished these last few years, and is very popular. There’s a multi-gym thingy there as well, you know, rowing machines and weights and things, go and get yourself membership and get some.
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